Recently, I heard a saying that goes, “Don’t give a sermon to someone who needs a hug.” Although it was said from a secular perspective, it carries a very profound meaning that we can also apply to our Christian lives.
A Hug Before a Sermon
Many times, when someone comes to church for the first time, they are not looking for a lecture or a sermon about their mistakes or shortcomings. They come with a heavy heart, with questions, with wounds, and with the hope of finding refuge. In those moments, what they need most is not judgment, but a hug that reflects God’s love, a gesture of comfort, empathy, and genuine welcome.
It may be that God has already reached out to that person, that they have already had an encounter with Him, and that this is precisely why they decided to step into a church. However, we can become a stumbling block when, through our words or actions, we end up driving that person away from the church. We must remember that perhaps this person does not yet know God the way we know Him and that, by observing our actions, they may form an impression of Him through our behavior.
That is why Christ calls us to follow His example, and we, as Christians, are also called to glorify God through the way we treat others.
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
Matthew 5:16 (KJV)
Learning to Walk with God
It is true that, as Christians, we desire to live in a way that pleases God and obeys His Word, and we should do so. Proverbs 3:11-12 reminds us not to despise the Lord’s discipline, because He corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects his beloved son. However, we must remember that many people who come to church for the first time are only beginning to know God. They are like babies who are still learning to crawl. There are many things they do not yet know or understand, and we cannot expect them to learn to walk overnight.
Our task is not to force an immediate transformation, but to accompany them through that process with humility, patience, and love. When a person opens their heart to God, it is the Holy Spirit who can bring about true and lasting change.
The Bible uses a similar comparison when Peter speaks about spiritual growth:
“As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:”
1 Peter 2:2 (KJV)
This also reminds us that spiritual growth is a process. Although we must teach the Word of God, we need to understand that not everyone is at the same stage in their walk with Christ.
Let Us Not Be Wise in Our Own Eyes
“[…] not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly […]”
Romans 12:3 (KJV)
We should not approach others as if we knew everything or as if we had always obeyed God perfectly. In Romans 12:16, Paul also exhorts us not to be wise in our own conceits. Having spent many years in church does not mean that we are superior to those who are just beginning. Nor does it mean that we never make mistakes. We are human too, we make mistakes, and we continue learning every day. The difference is not that we never fail, but that we have decided to follow Christ and strive to obey Him every day.
Sometimes we forget that we were once in that same place. There was a time when we did not know the Word of God as we know it now, and we needed someone to be patient with us.
In Titus 3:2-3, Uncle Paul exhorts us to show gentleness toward everyone and reminds us that we too were once disobedient and led astray. Therefore, instead of presenting ourselves as people who never make mistakes, we should show others that we also need God’s grace, mercy, and patience.
Correction Also Requires Love
Furthermore, as a church, our responsibility is not simply to correct, but also to love, serve, and build others up. Building others up does not mean imposing things on them, but inspiring them through our example, our words, and, above all, our compassion. Only God has the power to touch and renew the heart. We are simply instruments who can guide, encourage, and reflect the grace that we ourselves have received.
This does not mean that we should ignore sin or stop teaching the Word of God. Jesus Himself commanded us to make disciples and teach them to obey everything He has commanded us (Matthew 28:19-20). However, we must also remember that the way we correct others matters.
“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.”
Galatians 6:1 (KJV)
Our purpose in correcting someone should not be to demonstrate how much we know, embarrass someone, or feel superior, but to help them draw closer to God. Correction has its place in the Christian life, but it must be accompanied by humility, wisdom, and love.
Listening Is Also a Way of Loving
Sometimes we are so prepared to tell someone what they need to change that we forget to listen to what they are going through. James 1:19 exhorts us to be swift to hear and slow to speak. Perhaps, before offering advice, we need to learn that person’s story, understand their struggles, and listen to what they have to say.
Not everyone comes to church with the same experiences, knowledge, or wounds. Some need guidance, others need comfort, and many need both. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to pray for others, lift up those who have fallen, listen without prejudice, and extend a helping hand.
“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (KJV)
Colossians 3:16 also exhorts us to teach and admonish one another with wisdom. Therefore, listening, comforting, and teaching are not responsibilities that we should separate, but different ways of serving others.
Truth Accompanied by Love
God calls us to live in obedience and also to share His Word. Nevertheless, we must remember that the way we do so can influence those around us. In Ephesians 4:15, Uncle Paul teaches us to speak the truth in love. We do not have to choose between teaching what the Bible says and treating people with compassion. We are called to do both.
Sincerely, many times, the first step toward faith does not begin with a sermon, but with someone who was willing to offer a hug.
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